Auditions!!!!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!! It is that time of year and dance studios have and are holding auditions for class placement.  It is usually a very tense time of year for most.  Any dance moms/dads out there will understand what it is like.  In the weeks leading up to auditions there is an obvious whisper throughout the studio of  speculation, discussions of who should make what team, concern over your own dancer and opinions from other moms.  There is even a sense of teachers becoming a little more isolated from the parents perhaps for the pure purpose of not having to answer probing questions of "what team do you think my dancer will make?" or "how do you think my dancer is doing?"  I do have to say that this year was one of few that I wasn't concerned which team my daughter Addison would end up on.  I knew she would stay on the team she was on already.  Of course I still wanted her to do well during the audition and to score high.  I think it is always important to make a good impression even if it isn't going to change your placement.  Job security!!!! Ha ha!!!  I have no idea how she did because we are not allowed to watch the auditions.  I can only hope it went well.
                       After the dust settles and the team placements are complete and we receive that all important email that tells us what team our dancer is on,  the emotions begin.  There is always some who are disappointed and then the rest are super excited.  I have been on both sides of the emotional chart.  I do have to say however that even though sometimes I have been either disappointed, or concerned or happy, I have learned to trust that the studio directors and teachers know what's best.  I haven't always agreed and yet things seem to work out.   As parents we have a certain view of our dancers and how well we think they are doing.  What I have learned is that we are not the ones in the room with the teacher when our dancer is in there and so we don't always recognize some of the technique our dancer is lacking.  Sometimes moving a dancer up before they are ready can be a disadvantage in that it will only damage their self esteem.  We all think our own dancers deserve more attention or to be on the best team and as much as we want that to be true, it isn't most of the time.  The truth of the matter is that there is a studio full of talented kids and there is always someone better than the next.  Keeping a perspective on this can help your dancer grow on whatever team she is placed on.
                        I remember when Hannah was placed on senior company, the most advanced competitive team at our studio, at the age of 14.  Generally dancers on this team are 16-18.  Hannah had the advantage and disadvantage of height and being a head taller than all the girls that were on her previous team and taller than all the girls on seniors.   Some of the comments made to me by other parents and dancers ranged anywhere from "they are only putting her on that team because of her height," or "she is going to have to earn that spot," or  "she is not ready for seniors."  You can imagine that these comments can be hurtful to a parent as well as damaging to the dancer.  I don't think they were trying to be mean, they were just expressing their opinions, however, it was still hurtful and made us both concerned that maybe she isn't ready.  I remember speaking with the studio director and asking if she maybe didn't make a mistake putting Hannah on that team.  She informed me that height had some factoring in but that she wouldn't have placed her there if she didn't think she could handle it.  Hannah and I decided to put everyone else's opinions aside and that she was going to have to work twice as hard as everyone else on the team and prove herself.  Talk about stressful.  To our surprise, this year she had on seniors ended up being one of her best.  She technically and emotionally grew leaps and bounds that year.  All the older girls that were skeptical ended up being loving and kind and Hannah loves them all still.  Hannah spent that year watching and learning and showing respect for those older and better than her.  If they were dancing 100%, she danced 200%.  If she was put on the back row, which she was every time, she did it with a smile and danced big enough for everyone to see her in the back.  I knew at that point that I needed to trust the studio and learn that they do know what they are doing.
                          On the flip side, one year Addi wasn't placed on the next level team when the majority of her team moved up.  It was devastating and I was quite upset.  I couldn't understand what the problem was.  I finally talked to a few teachers and they pointed out to me that her focus and maturity were not at the level of the other girls and that she needed to work on that.  Sadly, I understood and began to accept the team placement and hope and pray that she would improve.  Well about 3 weeks later, much to my surprise,  they ended up moving her up anyway.  What a surprise! Downfall....... we were once again in the position of having to prove ourselves.  This was a bit harder for Addi to do at 7 than it was for Hannah at 14 and understandably so.  Addi had other issues that stood in the way.  This is the year we had her diagnosed with ADHD.  I fought it for so long because I didn't want her labeled and it was one more thing to deal with.  I wish I had taken her in sooner because once we got help for her, her self esteem started improving as well as her focus.
                         I am slightly ashamed to say that I am one of those dance moms that puts her dancers in private ballet and extra classes beyond their regularly scheduled classes.  Why you ask?  Well I just have seen the benefit it adds to their training.  It is like when your dancer does a solo.  That one on one time is invaluable and they learn so much with that personal time they get.  Addi definitely needs that one on one time to practice focusing.  I have seen her improve and mature exponentially because of the privates.  The dance mom in me thinks that if I am paying the amount I pay, and Addi is putting in the time she is putting in, then I want her to be able to be her absolute best.  Not better than everyone, just HER best.  Some may say I am crazy, I think of it as opportunity.  Whatever your thought or opinion, do what is best for your dancer.
                         I know how hard it is to have your child disappointed because they didn't make the team they want or get an audition they so desperately wanted to get.  I know that I am probably more disappointed for them than they are for themselves.  I also know that it just plain stinks to not get something you have worked hard to get.  I don't know what advice to offer other than, validate and commiserate with your dancer that this just plain stinks, let her have her moment of sadness, tell her how proud you are of her and then talk about what you can do to reach her goal next time.  Setting a plan in place always makes me feel better because it puts me in the mode of being proactive and not self pitying.  I am not always good at this in other areas of my life, but I am trying.  This is one of those moments when teaching your dancer to be happy for her teammates even though she is sad can be practiced.  What a challenge?!!!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!!
                       I wish everyone the best and remember, we are all in this together.

Please enjoy the attached video of The Dance Club company doing a production number choreographed by Joey Dowling and National Critics Choice winner.  It is an older video but the only one I could get downloaded.  You have to right click on it and select play in youtube.